[AI] Suggestions needed: For Parents to communicate to their young daughter about her disability

turab chimthanawala turabhvc at gmail.com
Wed Feb 27 06:24:59 EST 2019


Hi all,
Thanks a lot  for your inputs.
I would have a conversation with the lady today evening.
And then get back.
Also, recommendations for disability centres/ organisations in Pune,
where the girl can be taken to spiral her orientation to accessible
devices etc?
Thanks
Turab


On 2/27/19, Amar Jain <amarjain at amarjain.com> wrote:
> Turab,
>
> There is unfortunately no uniform answer to this question.
>
> I have known many parents who never mentioned it to their kids, and dealt
> with questions / experiences as it came. Whereas on the other hand, some
> parents do speak with their child as soon as they are able to establish some
> maturity in the kid.
>
> It is not so big problem for visible disabilities. Eventually due to medical
> intervention and growing maturity, the child comes to terms with it.
>
> In my personal opinion, this open conversation needs to happen with the
> child, so that the child can deal with questions and experiences easily with
> relaxed mindset. But 4 years’ child may be too young to understand. Earliest
> I know is 6. But depends on the way in which the communication takes place.
>
> Regards,
> Amar Jain
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On 27-Feb-2019, at 2:01 PM, Kriya Jain <kriya.jain47 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> As the subject suggests, more emphasis has been put on how to communicate
>> to their young daughter about their disability, for the parents.
>> Social and economic environment might affect the growing process and the
>> facilities provided. But the basic necessities remain the same.
>> And of course, rehab is the first & immediate need of the child.
>>
>> On Wed, Feb 27, 2019 at 1:53 PM bhawani shankar verma
>> <bsvermadurg at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> unfortunately, the basic braille reading, writing and the basic mobility
>>> could not take place in this entire discussion. secondly, the discussion
>>> started about the particular child and we don't know the financial and
>>> social condition of that particular family. the growing process of a
>>> child
>>> is a complete effect of his/her social and economic environment. we can
>>> not
>>> give any general instructions without knowing her family. better their
>>> parents should contact nearest centre like NAB or other organisation.
>>> first we should know about their economic and social conditions later
>>> advise
>>> accordingly.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Kriya Jain
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 27, 2019 12:32 PM
>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>> concerning
>>> the disabled.
>>> Subject: Re: [AI] Suggestions needed: For Parents to communicate to their
>>> young daughter about her disability
>>>
>>> Raise your differently abled child just how you woul raise his/her other
>>> siblings!!!
>>> This is the first thing I would recommend to any of the new parents.
>>> We don't keep telling our sighted children about what they have and what
>>> they don't  (especially at a young age of 2 or 4). Similarly no need of
>>> telling the VI child about what he/she has and what is not there. Any
>>> special conversation around the topic will make it unnecessarily
>>> important.
>>> It's just that let the child grow and adapt to the atmosphere around her.
>>> Just provide assistive devices wherever needed. Let the child adapt to
>>> them
>>> very naturally and relish her childhood just like any other child.
>>> I did the same with my daughter. In fact until the age of 7-8, I guess
>>> she
>>> was not much aware of her disability. she would think that the world was
>>> like that only, with different kinds of people where all people are
>>> blessed
>>> with some talent and some deficiencies. (Yes, I had always told her that
>>> God has not given everything to a single person).
>>> After a certain age I realised that she should now know the ground
>>> reality.
>>> she should know how things work in the sighted world, and how her world
>>> is
>>> a little different where she needs to work a little bit to make
>>> everything
>>> work for her. She should face the fact that there is a world out there
>>> where everything is made available from the perspective of  sighted
>>> persons
>>> and we need to correct them 😃 to fit to our own needs!
>>> Slowly, I started revealing this to her with very short talks, never
>>> giving
>>> her disability any importance at all.
>>> I remember, she once told me that she would  also ride vehicles like me.
>>> I
>>> did not react at that time. Just diverted her attention. After that
>>> whenever this talk came, I slowly inserted a few sentences to make her
>>> aware of the fact that she cannot drive ( in fact I told her she can, but
>>> not on roads😃).
>>> I never discussed these topics as a serious issue.
>>> So the result is, the disability never overpowered my daughter's mind.
>>> She
>>> grew up  dreaming just like her sighted sibling, wanting everything in
>>> the
>>> world. Today I can proudly  say that she has grown into a very positive
>>> adult!
>>> So my suggestion to these parents is:
>>> 1. Don't waste time anymore. Accept the fact and start providing you
>>> child
>>> with assistive devices.
>>> (I always wonder why in India we are still not working on giving cane to
>>> our child as early as the child takes the first step. But this needs
>>> detailed discussion on a different mail)
>>> 2. Don't worry too much about informing the  child about the disability.
>>> 3. If the child is too curious to know and have any queries, DO answer
>>> them. But make it a point that the answers are more factual and
>>> technical.
>>> Just make the child aware of the facts and talk as if it is not a big
>>> deal.
>>> 4. Last but very important. DO NOT BE OVER PROTECTIVE!!
>>> And yes, not all children are alike. What works for one might not work
>>> for
>>> other. We just need to try and learn.
>>>
>>> Wish the child a great future!!!
>>>
>>> Regards,
>>> Kanchan Jain.
>>>
>>>> On Tue, Feb 26, 2019 at 3:28 PM Soni Jo <sonistu at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Truly said Sir.
>>>> Over parenting makes the children too smart and too weak, both at the
>>>> same time. Though, my own 2 ad half year old is over parented. She is
>>>> such a clingy.
>>>> Now, about this small girl, she should not be protected ortreaed in
>>>> any special way. At least, that is what I think. I lost my eyesight
>>>> suddenly and completely almost at the same age.  Nobody told me, or at
>>>> least, I do not remember.
>>>> I knew what was happening when my parents took me to doctors and
>>>> operated on my eyes. Only sad thing was the needles and operation.
>>>> Oherwise, I had more o less fine childhood. I ran around on the road,
>>>> nobody look out for me that I will be ran over, smiles.
>>>> Enough of me, what I feel is, she should be treated as her other
>>>> sibblings, except or reading and writing. She should be taught braille
>>>> and other ways to read and write. Otherwise, she is fine.. The parents
>>>> should answer all her questions regarding her eyesight. They should
>>>> not be over protective. Childhood is bliss.
>>>> Thank you
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> On 2/25/19, turab chimthanawala <turabhvc at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>> Today while leaving from the BMC canteen after lunch, I was stopped by
>>>>> an old lady. Her grand daughter about 4 has no sight in 1 eye from
>>>>> birth. Per the lady, the baby has considerable sight in the other eye.
>>>>> The lady was concerned that she and her children have not yet been
>>>>> able to communicate with the baby girl about her disability. They have
>>>>> been apprehensive of admitting to a school as also allow her to run
>>>>> and play with other kids.
>>>>> This has caused a major road block as the kid as also relatives and
>>>>> people around are confused at their strange behaviour.
>>>>> Eagerly await inputs on
>>>>> 1. How to sensitise the kid about her disability.
>>>>> 2. The way forward.
>>>>> (They have consulted opthamologists about plausible treatment, to no
>>>>> avail and now are interested in rehab)
>>>>> Thanking you
>>>>> Best
>>>>> Turab
>>>>>
>>>>>
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>
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