[AI] Ai Partaking in informal groups/ activities at the workplace

sazid shaik ashwaqahmed.nlr at gmail.com
Sat Jul 14 03:50:53 EDT 2018


hello dear family,
can anyone please share me a book called, "How to Win Friends and
Influence People".

thanks and regards,
sazid

On 7/13/18, Vamshi. G <gvamshiai at gmail.com> wrote:
> Agree with Vasu.  Avoidance of such gatherings will only result in
> further exclusion.  Further, as vasu said, others should find value in
> association with us.  I often see my friends and colleagues waiting
> for me to take lunch.   Even when I couldn't attend any such
> gatherings, I will be told the next day that they missed me.  As most
> others wrote, you should be good at interactions with friendlyness,
> jovial, diplomatic, knowledgeable etc.  So many qualities required to
> have inclusion!  But its not bad to possess them.   Also, avoid
> conflicts and confrontations.  Try to help others.   Disability
> requires us to take help from others.  But there are many areas where
> we can help others like sharing knowledge, technology, advise etc.
> Once you start helping others, others will like you as a person and
> start helping you not as an assistant but as a good friend.  Having
> said all this, you will still have an experience that is odd and ugly.
> Just accept it as a part of disability.  Many people who are not good
> at socialising are suffering due to this.  At the most, they might
> have a complete lunch, not a complete gathering.
>
> On 7/12/18, Srinivasu Chakravarthula <lists at srinivasu.org> wrote:
>> You may not really need to take an escort as it is practically not
>> possible
>> all the time. But ensure you make acquaintance with a couple of people
>> before the lunch with an enriching conversation. Then accompany them for
>> lunch. Ask "if you could join them for lunch and could they be able to
>> help?" often this ask works. Most important thing is that other person
>> should find value in conversation with you.
>>
>> Cheers,
>> Srinivasu
>>
>> Regards,
>>
>> Srinivasu Chakravarthula - Twitter: http://twitter.com/CSrinivasu/
>> Website: http://www.srinivasu.org | http://serveominclusion.com
>>
>> Let's create an inclusive web!
>>
>> Lead Accessibility Consultant, Informatica
>>
>>
>> On Thu, Jul 12, 2018 at 10:53 AM, Muthu Selvi <muthump2007 at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi,
>>> This happens to most of us.
>>> When ever there is  a joint lunch or lunch during meetings,  people
>>> walk around here and there with their plates in their hands. But, we
>>> are unable to do it. So, It limits our interactions.Actually, I travel
>>> every where independetly mostly by bus/train. But, I wonder, Whether
>>> we should take escort for such kind of lunches? Even if we  go with an
>>> escort, People interact with us through  the escort such as  did she
>>> had lunch? in branch she works? her good name?
>>>
>>> I had many experiences like this. But, I would like to share the recent
>>> one.
>>> I went to attend our union leder's retirement function. He gave lunch
>>> in one of  the five star reputed hotels.
>>> There were so many items including both veg and nonveg. I did not know
>>> the full menu. Somebody asked one of the hotel staffs to serve food.
>>> Even   people those who often say that i am most  independent do not
>>> bother to involve me in the group.Almost all staffs came for the
>>> lunch. Everybody  was busy with talking/introducing with one another.
>>> SinceThere was so much of crowd,  I was made to sit in one place.
>>> I wonder Whether we should participate in such kind of inaccessible
>>> lunches if it is going to lead to frustration?
>>> I have so much to write but will stop at this point.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On 7/12/18, turab chimthanawala <turabhvc at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> > Hi Amar,
>>> > Thanks for your suggestions. While I have a good sense of humour and
>>> > reasonable inter personal skills, would polish them further.
>>> >
>>> > On 7/11/18, Amar Jain <amarjain at amarjain.com> wrote:
>>> >> Hi Turab,
>>> >>
>>> >> Matching matching challenges!
>>> >> In addition to all what has been said so far, below are a few
>>> suggestions:
>>> >>
>>> >> 1. Learn to find common interests. It could be FIFA for you, and it is
>>> >> definitely BudWeiser for me!
>>> >>
>>> >> 2. Learn to develop human abilities like sense of humour and don’t
>>> >> just
>>> >> focus too much on brain. Means try to develop as many qualities as
>>> >> possible.
>>> >>
>>> >> 3. Try to be on top of trends, knowledge of accessories, clothing,
>>> >> Hollywood, among others.
>>> >>
>>> >> 4. Engaging with juniors is easier than with seniors.
>>> >>
>>> >> Your interpersonal skills have to be of top notch quality. And if
>>> nothing
>>> >> else works, then be little spoiled.
>>> >>
>>> >> Regards,
>>> >> Amar Jain
>>> >>
>>> >> Sent from my iPhone
>>> >>
>>> >>> On 11-Jul-2018, at 3:58 PM, turab chimthanawala <turabhvc at gmail.com>
>>> >>> wrote:
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Hi Rahul,
>>> >>> Thanks for your reply.
>>> >>> Great elucidation.
>>> >>> Well, as regards your point of screen reader being a barrier to
>>> >>> meaningful interaction, in my present work schedule, my reliance on a
>>> >>> personal companion to help me navigate the court becomes a hurdle to
>>> >>> building good relationships: as I often walk  slightly a part from
>>> >>> the
>>> >>> team: majority of the chatter takes place while running from one
>>> >>> court
>>> >>> room to another.
>>> >>> Yes, I often do fall in the trap of the confirmation bias labelling
>>> >>> my
>>> >>> disability for all not going for me; which is often not true. Hope to
>>> >>> change that mindset.
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Another concern is the excessive protectionist attitude of colleagues
>>> >>> say for instance, being reluctant to take us to the canteen,
>>> >>> presumably to save us of the trouble of walking down three floors or
>>> >>> forcing us to take the elevator while they walk down. This attitude
>>> >>> may take various other forms.
>>> >>> Generally, the initial period in a new setting is very lonely and
>>> >>> difficult. After a while, one does get integrated to an extent.
>>> >>> Any specific tips you might have followed in your multiple
>>> >>> internships
>>> >>> etc. to make this initial difficult period as short as possible?
>>> >>> Also, any other thoughts?
>>> >>> Best
>>> >>> Turab
>>> >>>
>>> >>>> On 7/10/18, Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10038 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >>>> I think cultivating greater  independence in a phased manner is
>>> >>>> important
>>> >>>> in
>>> >>>> terms of having greater control over one's movements. This is also a
>>> >>>> function of the nature of one's personality - introversion and
>>> >>>> disability
>>> >>>> do
>>> >>>> not make for a good combination. One of the biggest obstacles is
>>> >>>> that
>>> >>>> you
>>> >>>> cannot seek people out for a convo; it is contingent upon them
>>> reaching
>>> >>>> out
>>> >>>> to you.
>>> >>>> It may often be the case that people are passing by and you don't
>>> >>>> know
>>> >>>> who
>>> >>>> they are, so you lose out on the opportunity to strike up a
>>> >>>> conversation.
>>> >>>> People may sometimes try talking to you or may be having a
>>> conversation
>>> >>>> that
>>> >>>> you're not able to participate in because your screen reading
>>> >>>> software
>>> >>>> cancels out all noise. You cannot see what is happening, so it is
>>> >>>> not
>>> >>>> the
>>> >>>> same as someone listening to music.
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>> I find that we sometimes also fall into the trap of confirmation
>>> >>>> bias
>>> >>>> wherein we interpret events around us as being attributable to our
>>> >>>> disability when they are actually not. I am not saying that you are
>>> >>>> doing
>>> >>>> this; this is something I often find myself doing inadvertently.
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>> That said, there are some who are very inclusive and interested in
>>> >>>> learning
>>> >>>> more about how you do things, in light of your disability. This may
>>> >>>> itself
>>> >>>> serve as the springboard for an engaging conversation.
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>> Best,
>>> >>>> RahulSent from my iPhone
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>> On Jul 9, 2018, at 9:19 AM, turab chimthanawala
>>> >>>>> <turabhvc at gmail.com>
>>> >>>>> wrote:
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> Hello Geeta Ma'am and Tilak
>>> >>>>> Thanks a lot for your inputs
>>> >>>>> Geeta Ma'am as to your suggestions.
>>> >>>>> 1. In the office where I worked, there was no separate lunch bar:
>>> >>>>> People would just gather around a work table in their small groups
>>> >>>>> with their tiffins. Hence, I found it difficult to break into a
>>> group.
>>> >>>>> As to your broader point, yes, I am reasonably and strive to be
>>> >>>>> more
>>> >>>>> independent in office. In court as we have to run from one court
>>> >>>>> room
>>> >>>>> to another, hence I always have my driver to accompany, hence not
>>> >>>>> being dependent on other colleagues. In fact. having a personal
>>> >>>>> assistant is sort of a double edged sword in the sense it separates
>>> me
>>> >>>>> from the other group.
>>> >>>>> 2. I certainly endeavour to create relationships and not need based
>>> >>>>> interactions. Certainly I will introspect and work more on this.
>>> >>>>> 3. Our office is quite small and hence I don't think there would be
>>> >>>>> a
>>> >>>>> lot of inclination towards a Disability awareness programme.
>>> >>>>> Nevertheless this is an excellent suggestion for the future.
>>> >>>>> Tilak as to your inputs.
>>> >>>>> 1. It is a great idea to be talkative and partake in the general
>>> >>>>> discussion. However, the reason holding me back is that we can't
>>> often
>>> >>>>> see what people are doing, I mean whether they are working, taking
>>> >>>>> a
>>> >>>>> break etc. I am concerned of interrupting and disturbing at the
>>> >>>>> wrong
>>> >>>>> time.
>>> >>>>> 2. Being not dependent on a single colleague is a great point. I
>>> often
>>> >>>>> cling on to one person. Surely hope to change this.
>>> >>>>> 3. My mobility is reasonably good. Only that I struggle in highly
>>> >>>>> populated public places.
>>> >>>>> 4. I don't understand how using public transport would help in
>>> >>>>> building good relationships at the workplace.
>>> >>>>> Eagerly await your follow up.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>> On 7/9/18, Geetha Shamanna <geethas2900 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >>>>>> Hi Turab,
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>> As a blind person trying to fit in, one should bear in mind the
>>> >>>>>> following:
>>> >>>>>> 1. It is essential to be as independent as possible. Ensure that
>>> >>>>>> you
>>> >>>>>> learn
>>> >>>>>> your way around the office as well as the route to the canteen, so
>>> >>>>>> that
>>> >>>>>> you
>>> >>>>>> don't rely on colleagues to go for lunch or tea with you. If they
>>> see
>>> >>>>>> you
>>> >>>>>> managing these things independently, they are more likely to
>>> >>>>>> invite
>>> >>>>>> you
>>> >>>>>> to
>>> >>>>>> go with them for lunch or tea, than in a situation where they feel
>>> >>>>>> obliged
>>> >>>>>> to take you along every day. Be comfortable going for lunch or tea
>>> on
>>> >>>>>> your
>>> >>>>>> own, as people can be busy with their own deadlines in offices.
>>> >>>>>> 2. It is easier to have conversations as well as a good
>>> >>>>>> relationship
>>> >>>>>> with
>>> >>>>>> colleagues which could even turn into friendships if your approach
>>> is
>>> >>>>>> not
>>> >>>>>> need-based. Approach them just for a conversation, rather than to
>>> get
>>> >>>>>> them
>>> >>>>>> to do something for you. While as a blind person one needs help at
>>> the
>>> >>>>>> workplace from time to time, it is important not to have
>>> >>>>>> need-based
>>> >>>>>> relationships with colleagues.
>>> >>>>>> 3. Suggest to your manager that you can provide disability
>>> >>>>>> awareness
>>> >>>>>> training to your colleagues.
>>> >>>>>> My previous employer had arranged for all my team members to have
>>> >>>>>> disability
>>> >>>>>> awareness training before I joined the team, and this had a
>>> remarkable
>>> >>>>>> impact on how they behaved with me.
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>> Geetha
>>> >>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> >>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-bounces at accessindia.org.in]
>>> On
>>> >>>>>> Behalf
>>> >>>>>> Of turab chimthanawala
>>> >>>>>> Sent: 08 July 2018 06:23
>>> >>>>>> To: accessindia
>>> >>>>>> Subject: [AI] Ai Partaking in informal groups/ activities at the
>>> >>>>>> workplace
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>> Hi all,
>>> >>>>>> Hope this message finds you well.
>>> >>>>>> While over the years I have come a long way in making friends with
>>> >>>>>> blindness and hence built a good social network. I am comfortable
>>> >>>>>> in
>>> >>>>>> most settings and even don't mind questions on  my disability.
>>> >>>>>> However, I have found it difficult to fully absorb in informal
>>> groups/
>>> >>>>>> activities at office. This may range from hjoining in for lunch to
>>> >>>>>> going down for tea in the court canteen to going for outings and
>>> >>>>>> to
>>> >>>>>> simply joining in jokes while working. I get the necessary
>>> >>>>>> support/
>>> >>>>>> cooperation to do my work but I believe offices are beyond just
>>> work.
>>> >>>>>> I understand that due to disability people are not best equipped
>>> >>>>>> to
>>> >>>>>> understand our needs and problems and that we have to take the
>>> >>>>>> first
>>> >>>>>> step, but to what extent! I mean I generally find it difficult to
>>> gage
>>> >>>>>> people's expressions and hence am slightly circumspect in the
>>> >>>>>> beginning. At a recent internship at a huge firm with about 100
>>> >>>>>> professionals I was lonely most of the time save for a colleague,
>>> now
>>> >>>>>> a close friend. To the  extent that when she would be absent, the
>>> >>>>>> others would never invite me for lunch. It was only after a month
>>> that
>>> >>>>>> others became warm.
>>> >>>>>> Currently I am working with an Advocate. Here as well despite
>>> knowing
>>> >>>>>> me (as I interned earlier), a colleague personally invited all but
>>> me
>>> >>>>>> to his house. Even here there is a senior who is warm but owing to
>>> >>>>>> personal commitments she is quite irregular and hence, except for
>>> work
>>> >>>>>> related talk I am mostly left alone.
>>> >>>>>> With most humility I would point out that I am a very warm person
>>> and
>>> >>>>>> many have said that they enjoy my company. But due to some reason
>>> >>>>>> I
>>> am
>>> >>>>>> left out of most informal activities at office.
>>> >>>>>> Eagerly await others' experiences/ inputs on the same.
>>> >>>>>> Thanking you
>>> >>>>>> Best
>>> >>>>>> Turab
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>>
>>> >>>>>>
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>>>
>>> --
>>> BE HAPPY AND MAKE OTHERS HAPPY
>>> M.Muthu Selvi
>>> Manager, Allahabad Bank and Secretary,  All India Confederation of the
>>> blind.
>>> Email: muthump2007 at gmail.com
>>> Skype: muthump2007
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
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>
>
> --
> G. Vamshi
> Mobile: +91 9949349497
> Skype: gvamshi81
>
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