[AI] Marriage for visually challenged
rajeshasudani at rbi.org.in
Wed Jul 11 03:23:59 EDT 2007
Well, the motives for marriage, like all other human actions, are far from
simple. Loveless basis and mercinary considerations do form a part of them,
however, it would be gross infamy to generally club the marriages between
blind males and sighted females under this category. Further, it would be
preposterous and insulting to life partners of many of us who have accepted
our blindness as a fact of life to be lived with instead of putting it by.
In this age of quantified constructs where the concepts of causation and
correlation only form the basis of convincing any body, I do not wish to
quantify something which by its very nature is not susceptible to such crude
quantification. However comparison of relevance of blindness in matrimony to
correlation betweenshoe size and intelligence, seems to me to be without
thought and beside the point.
I would like to reassert that the fact of blindness/visual impairment of
either partner is material and relevant for making the matrimonial choice
and merits full disclosure and acceptance/rejection. In other words, for any
informed consent, which is the prerequisite for any marriage, blindness is
surely a factor to be taken into account. The extent of its impact and
direction thereof would depend on individuals concerned. It is here that
social inclusion or exclusion comes in. Granted that marrying blind or
sighted person do not go hand in hand with social inclusion or exclusion,
nonetheless, healthy marriage with a nondisabled partner is one of many
indicators of social inclusion.
I have personally experienced instances where blindness is considered
synonimous with impotence, so considering a blind person for marriage, even
out of economic motives, amounts to recognition of a blind person's gender
and the fact that he/she can earn.
These ideas may sound ridiculous to the list which consists of the cream of
the blind in India, but are the harsh realities and at any count, are not as
laughable and ridiculous as the comparison between shoe size and
intelligence. Non-cognizance of blindness in marriage or in any other aspect
is unhealthy. Constructive tackling of blindness is surely healthy.
To give a personal example, probable impact of my blindness on daily life
and on life in general, and medical
possibility of its genetic manifestation in next generation/posterity along
with precautionary measures were explained in so many words to my would-be
wife by none other than myself before tying the nuptual knot.
Here I am not saying anything about marriages between blind partners. The
problem of blind girls not being able to find a suitable life partner--blind
or sighted--is surely a grave one and needs action. A blind couple may or
may not be socially included, depending on a host of factors.
Social inclusion in my opinion, is a two-way street, continuous striving by
the disabled and healthy modification in the attitude of society in general.
Matrimony is surely a social endeavor and let us not hide or mislead anybody
about the fact of our blindness and its accompanying disadvantages. Given a
choice, nobody would prefer to be blind, and its impact ought to be
minimized/neutralized wherever possible and not ignored.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Shadab Husain" <shadabhsn at gmail.com>
To: <accessindia at accessindia.org.in>
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 4:50 PM
Subject: [AI] Marriage for visually challenged
> How many of us really enjoy the friendly company of a faithful partner?
> Generally our parents find a flunkey lady for us after we get a job so
> that we may easily get on with this life. Thereafter literally
> speaking, she becomes a maid rather than an affianced wife.
> Unfortunately, few frumpy ladies quickly turn up to be femme fatales
> after marriage.
> I am pretty caddish, so, strongly feel marrying to gain worldly
> pleasure is sheer cupidity and idiocy.
> Please don't be disheartened, there are few who reciprocally enjoy the
> blissful tranquility with their humble ones, but
> Love is seldom mutual
> Shadab Husain
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